I'm not competitive, I want you all by yourself;

Ouu another stalker! This excites me :3

READREADREAD.

Welcome to Nicole's Blog (:
This is MY blog, meaning I can do whatever I want
Mwahahaha
^ I felt really evil up there .. oh well :]

Anyways, If you want to hate. Why write it on my tagboard ?
Wanna say something say it to my face
On the internet anyone can act brave.
It takes balls to say shit to someones face in person.

And last
You don't like my blog ?
Well I got instuctions for you :)
See the red "x" button in the top right hand corner ?
Click it kthx (:

Biography

HAITHUR :3

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

NICOOLEPALAZZOTTO;
young,stupid&restless
STA-freshman
MAYYY'95
ridingg solo
iLOVEmymains, which include;
a.armogan,r.burdeos,e.cantos,v.diep,c.gregorio,
s.ramlall,v.vivian♥
they make life so much better :]

I entered highschool not knowing what to expect. I used to be so afraid and shy.
I used to be someone who always kept thinking what if.
I used to be a different girl when I looked in the mirror. But as I entered this weird,
new world my reflection started to change. I became a whole new person. The girl I now
saw in the mirror was changed. I was so used to getting pushed around by people. Now if
you think that i'm a pushover, sorry to dissapoint but i'm not. I do what it was right
and not what is wrong. I've made so many wrongs in the past. I'm not gonna live in a reflection
of someone I used to be. The reason being, this girl doesn't exist anymore. Highschool changed me
not for the worst, but for the better. <3

Blogs to Follow :)

a click away to forever

A.Armogan♥
B.Baile♥
R.David♥
K.Calibuso♥
V.Diep♥
A.Gregorio♥
M.Johnson♥
S.Kaulitz♥
B.Kennedy♥
R.Manlansing♥
L.Mauro♥
C.Nanlal♥
S.Ramlall♥
V.Vivian♥

archives

walk down memory lane

Smile, It will get better. I promise you.

Thursday, May 27, 2010
5:13 PM

Those wise words came from my amazing mom. So it happened. It happened in the morning before school. I don't care if i'm talking about this personal thing on my blog. I need to vent somewhere right ? Anyways. Late yesterday evening, I think around 11. Parents were talking. Not arguing this time. My dad had gone to see my nonna that day. My mom and dad were talking about the seperation. And how my dad was leaving today. So I cried. I balled my eyes out till 1:30 am. I couldn't handle it all. It was so painful. Like I kept getting stabbed in the chest repeatingly. I cried until my mom came upstairs to go to sleep. She asked me if I was okay. I lied. "Yeah mom, i'm fine". "Nicole, I know this isn't what a family should be like. I would've stayed longer for you and your brother. But we're all not happy. Maybe this is a good thing for us. Maybe it will make us all happier including your father. Even if he is away from those he loves very very much" "yeah mom, I know. I'm just taking it all in. I want to go to sleep, I need some sleep. I love you. Goodnight". I know it wasn't right to cut her off like that. But I knew that if I talked about it more and more I would cry a river. I don't like crying in front of my mom. I know its weird but I just dont. So I went to sleep, not knowing what to expect for today. I got up at maybe 7:05 this morning. I got ready for school and just waited for my polo to dry. My dad drove to me to school. We were talking. I asked him how he was feeling. "I'm sad, but I know its for the better. I haven't been a good father to you for a long time. I want you to be happy Nicole. I love you and your brother so much and don't you ever forget that no matter how far away I am." Those words just made me cry. We got to school and he went into the parking lot. "Bye Dad, I love you and just call me if you ever just want to talk" He hugged me and then I just cried a river into his chest. I then noticed he started to cry. That killed me. You never really see dad's cry. It never usually happens. Then I left. I went into that terrible place. I cried, I looked for Sasha. Went up and down from the 1st floor to the 2nd at least three times. Veronica found me and started hugging me and then I cried some more. We then went to the third floor, found David and asked him if he knew where Sasha was. He didn't. Then friza texted veronica. And told her that sasha was on the first floor. As soon as I saw sasha, I started crying and hugged her so tightly like I never wanted to let go. I couldn't hold it in. I needed my bestfrand. Even though I didn't really see her today. Just hearing her voice on the phone afterschool was all I needed. I went out to lunch with him again. He made me forget about everything. Talking about random stuff, he honestly made my day. He's been there for me alot this week. I thank him for that. He's a really good friend :)
Out of all my classes today, I would prob say Religion was the hardest. It was prob towards the end that got to me. Macdougal, was talking about fam and shit. And it just really got to me. I couldn't help it. I didn't cry that much, but I had some tears in my eyes. Thanks Cassie, Mina and Vivian for being there (:
Honestly I don't know how I would be sane right now if it weren't for my brother right now. The things his girlfriend told me that he wants to do for me just made me want to cry.

"Drews doing okay, he's sad about the whole thing too. But honestly nicole, he really wants to be there for you. He's kind of the only father figure in your household that you have right now, so hes gonna try his best to be there whenever you need him"
"Drew cares for you so much nicole & your lucky he's there for you cuz when I use to cry everyday my older brother never once asked me if I was okay. I told him i'm really happy that he asked you how you were, and hes like, obv shes my little sister."

Drew, I know you're hurting right now. I can see right through it. I know you're trying to act brave and strong for me and mom. But don't. I know you've taken alot in over the past years. But it will all be better, we all just gotta stick together. I love you so much. I know that you're trying to be there for me. But just remember you're just as important as I am. You're feelings matter to. You know there isn't a day that goes by that I wonder how you feel. You're not one to show it. But I know you're angry and sad on the inside. It's hard for you, just as it is for me too. I know you love Dad. I know you do. You guys talked all the time. When we were little, we would always play with him. Mini sticks, video games. Taking us out to get junkfood afterschool. Buying us random junk we never needed but wanted. I remember everything. You were so happy around him. You love him so much. Even though you don't show it. I can see it. I know this is so hard for you. I know this is. But if we help eachother I know we can get through this. I know you're making sure i'm okay because i'm emotional and I tend to show how I feel more then you. But I know you're not happy. I know you haven't been for a long time. I love you so much Drew. You're my world. I don't know how I will ever survive in a world without you in it. You're my light when I have my dark days. You always know what to say when to cheer me up. Like today. With your texts saying how don't worry at least you get your room back and hey were going shopping on the weekend look forward to it. You can always make me feel good. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. You're my favorite person in the whole wide world. Don't you ever forget that.
-nicooolee.

got something to say? (0)